nexusafterdeath | empty chairs at empty tables

[ His partner does appear soon enough...literally right behind Rean too. Well, he certainly didn't plan for it either. But he speaks up at any rate. ]

Just the two of us this time, huh?

[ For now, he supposed. People could always arrive after them like last time, but ... given their situation, Crow kind of hoped that'd be put on hold for awhile. ]

[Rean's head snaps up the minute he senses someone else in the room, and he turns quickly to look behind him. Those lavender eyes soften a bit once he sees who it is, some of the tension easing from his shoulders.]

Seems like it. There's no note or anything this time, anyway. I don't think whoever's in charge here had a game in mind.

[ Crow watches Rean and the subtle changes in his expression as well as posture, and then decides to step from behind the other so that he's nearby the table as well. He begins to start pouring himself a glass, with his expression kind of unreadable for a moment. ]

Perfect time for us to have a nice, little chat then. [ ... ] Oh, and did ya want some sake too?

Edited 2019-06-30 19:12 (UTC)

[Rean's studying his expression, but... well, like a lot of things with Crow, it's hard to crack.

He nudges the glass in front of him toward Crow.]

Might as well. They put out glasses for both of us, might as well take them up on the offer.

[Rean will let him handle the pouring, idly taking notes on how he does it. It'd probably be a useful skill to have, and it'd certainly waste a lot less if he could learn how to keep any of it from spilling...

Of course, that just leaves the question of how and when Crow got this all figured out. There's a decent part of Rean that just doesn't want the answer to that.

Even so, Crow's right. They do need to talk about things, whether or not either of them really want to dig into some of this. But...]

I'll be honest with you, though. I haven't the slightest where to even begin.

Ain't that right?

[ Crow definitely could've ignored and pretended everything was peachy. But, as much as he hadn't been eager to discuss things before, that for him had actually changed. After all, he was going to need to do something...soon.

Might as well get his affairs squared with before he did. That's all it was. Definitely.

Now he gets to pouring Rean a glass. ]

I could ask more about the future, but I'm going to leave that up to you. So, how about the part where you already know my whole identity and everything, but still for some reason want to be my friend?

[Rean's quiet, folding his hands on the table.]

I have no reason to hide what I know from you, really. So if there's anything you want to know, I owe it to you to answer.

[That's a vague response at best, but... well. What's he supposed to do, start narrating the entire events of the civil war from his perspective? No thanks.]

That part's easy, though. [The part Crow's explicitly asking about.] Listen. There's not a single thing you can say to me that will convince me that everything you've ever done for me – for us – was a lie. You can't take back all our stupid jokes, or all the times we stayed up way later than we should have just talking about nothing at all.

You have done – will do – things that I can't, and won't, forgive. But no matter what, you're always going to be Crow to me. Not C.

You were more important to me than I think you ever knew. ...You still are.

[ There's only a couple of things he'd want to know for sure, anyway. But as he's saying this, the white-haired male just releases a sigh.

He knows that tone and that look - it brooked no argument. Rean was just...like that. Even so, Crow sometimes had such a difficult time grasping it because he's seen nor met anyone like Rean before. ]

Heh, something tells me if I tried saying that you'd regret it, you'd probably have something for that too. Man, you really are a piace of work.

But, don't be surprised if you end up being disappointed. Since I doubt things can really go back to being as they were...even if you seem to have acknowledged that part last night.

[ He gives a pause as he holds the glass out to Rean. ]

And I guess there's one thing I'm curious about. It probably wouldn't surprise you, but, I'm just going to ask you if the assassination of Giliath Osborne is something that happens at all?

Edited (make peace not war, smh) 2019-06-30 20:19 (UTC)

[Rean's lips twitch up into the slightest smile at Crow trying to ward him off again.]

And you'd be right. I have a lot of regrets, but I can tell you with certainty that this isn't one of them. [And it's not as if he doesn't have regrets about Crow. Oh, does he ever. But wanting to keep him close... never.] You're warning the wrong person, though, don't you think? I'm the one who knows how everything goes.

[He reaches out to take that glass from Crow, their fingertips brushing just slightly as he does.]

Thanks.

[Rean blinks a little at Crow's question, then closes his eyes.]

It does. October 30th, 1204. [He opens his mouth for a moment like he's going to say more, but... no. He closes it, opening his eyes and staring down into his drink.

He really is a coward.]

Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm warning the exactly right person.

[ He smiles albeit rueful for a moment, before it fades shortly. His eyes flicked down to their hands briefly before back at Rean, listening him speak.

Even though Rean said he has no reason to hide anything from him, it kind of looks like that might be happening. Crow assumes it's something he's hesitant to tell him, and automatically he thinks back to the time they spent in the "Mafia" game, starting with the first time they met.

He remembered the look of surprise and pale on the other's face, as if he'd seen a ghost, and then that promise Rean made him gave. He supposed it's possible something happened to him, but ... well ... ]

Something wrong?

Edited 2019-06-30 20:54 (UTC)

A bit late, then. Not that I listened to you before, so I guess it's a moot point either way.

[Rean picks up that glass, bringing it to his lips for a slow sip.]

...Plenty, if I'm being honest. [A soft sigh.] I just don't know...

If I tell you what I know, will it change anything? Or will I just be making things unnecessarily hard on you? [A pause, then he dips his head a little as he just admits to the fear that's really eating at him.] Will you even still speak to me if I do? I don't know...

If you listened to me, you'd probably be out of more than just 50 mira.

[ In contrast, Crow takes a sizeable gulp out of his, figuring he's going to need it in advance anyway...!! ]

It won't stop me from doing what I'm supposed to do tomorrow, that's for sure. Either way, I'm pretty sure I can handle anything you throw at me. [ He also just kind of cracks an amused smile. ] It'd also be pretty awkward if I stopped speaking to you since we're in the same room.

Anyway, I'm not going to ask for all the details, but I'm guessing somewhere along the lines, something doesn't go well for me, does it?

[Rean winces a little at that. Tomorrow. Somehow, that just makes all of Crow's off-handed comments about seeing Rean when they get back hurt that much more...

Taking a shaking breath and keeping his gaze anywhere but on Crow, Rean speaks.]

...In my timeline, you die in December. Duke Cayenne activates the Vermilion Apocalypse. You and I manage to stop it, but at the cost of your life.

[And although his voice is shaking, there's a part of him that knows Crow's probably not going to be too upset by that revelation. As disturbing as it still is to him, with how the rest of the ILF felt about death, it wouldn't surprise him if Crow felt the same.]

...And that's probably fine by you, isn't it? But...

[...He has to just say this.]

What you're going to do tomorrow, it isn't worth it. I don't understand how, none of us do, but...

Osborne's still alive. He doesn't bother showing his face again until you're already gone, but he makes sure everything you did was for nothing.

Wow, so this is why you think I'd stop talking to you? Chin up, none of that offends me at all, if that's what you were thinking. If anything, I think it's been pretty helpful.

It's a little strange to think that the assassination still happens but the bastard still lives through it. Though I guess not impossible - I'll just have to make sure he's really down for the count.

[ How 'bout that double tap? And...Rean's not wrong. Crow doesn't even seem bothered at the idea of his death - his expression doesn't even have traces of regret or sadness in it. He's just decided that if his death is an inevitability, he'll have to make every moment worth it, that's all.

Not to mention, he's been prepared to die all along. ]

At least we get to work together to stop some big ol' threat before I die, though. Just like old times. Couldn't ask for a better way to go out.

[And to that... well, sometimes, the only thing you can do is just bury your face in your hand because while this might be your best friend, while this might be the person you miss so deeply it's made almost everything else go numb...

Sometimes, you're just talking to an idiot, and you need to facepalm.]

That's— Crow, that's not the point. [Ugh, how does he put this without sounding ridiculous. Well, it's not like they're not both already dealing with witches and divine legendary mecha, so...] You get him through the heart. You could probably riddle him with bullets and I don't think it'll change a damn thing. Whatever he's got going on, I don't think it's something any of us understand.

Let me put it to you this way, even Vita had no idea what the hell was going on.

[Sighing miserably, Rean drops his hand.]

Besides. This isn't what I'm scared of, anyway. It's everything that happens after.

[ Yep, sorry he's like this. ]

Well, if I shoot him in the head that'd definitely be the end of it. [ Crow doesn't like that he's not feeling exactly confidant about that. It has most to do with the fact he mentioned Vita didn't know what was going on and that's... bad enough. ] Or, we'll find out right then and there if there something else is going on entirely if he grows another head on his shoulders or whatever.

[ He sips at his glass this time, considering the rest of Rean's words. ]

Everything that happens after, huh? Let me guess, it's all Osborne's fault.

Crow.

[Why! Are you! Like this!]

You don't need to "find out" if something else is going on entirely. I'm telling you something is...

[He's just going to take another swig of his sake, because again. Fuck his entire life, at this point. But then Crow asks another question, and it's everything he can do not to choke on the liquid and just get it down.]

[And once he's recovered from that...]

...If you want to be charitable about it, I guess. [He's not going to hide how bitter he is. There's no point, now.] But I don't see it that way, and I doubt the people of Crossbell do, either.

[A deep breath.]

...Everything Cayenne had you doing for him, I'm now doing for Osborne. I mean, hey, at least we're not relying on underhanded tactics to stitch more pieces onto our quilt, right? We're just stomping out any opposition with a Divine Knight and calling it a day.

[Rean can't meet Crow's gaze, but the way those words snap like glass from his mouth should tell Crow everything he needs to know.

The "Ashen Chevalier," huh? Rean feels like anything but a war hero.]

...And it'd be nice if I could say that was the end of it, but.

[ He's about to say that he does believe him, it's just he thinks shooting Osborne in the head will kill two birds with one stone. Definitely.

Right? Right.

But the rest of what Rean's saying shifts his thoughts from answering that exactly as his own mouth closes right after opening, and he's listening to the other telling him now that Osborne has essentially made Rean one of his puppets.

He's not even interested in his drink anymore.

Because he failed...Rean and who the hell knows else is suffering for it - unlike him, Rean's not the type of person who'd be good to be in that sort of position and he knows it. And to think, Rean's stuck under the man Crow hated with a passion. Irony sure is a funny thing, isn't it?

Crow's expression darkens, and for a moment, his hand reaches out for the other's shoulder, mostly without much thought. ]

Yeah, I'm sure that it isn't, with him. [ ... ] Can't say I'm not curious anymore...so what other bad news is there?

[Rean has never been more positive with anything that that is not how things work, so it's probably good that Crow doesn't get to saying it aloud.

Despite himself, Rean finds himself glancing up to see that darkness wash over Crow's face, and it's enough to send his heart into his stomach like a ball of ice. This, too, is a part of Crow, and he knows it. He doesn't even hate it. He just recognizes it as pain, and he is ever himself. He wants to take it away, but he can't.

He's not strong enough. He's not strong enough for anything...]

...well. I mentioned that I was adopted, right? I've never minded it, you know. They've always been my family...

And then he comes up to me not five minutes after you've bled out in my arms and tells me "I'm glad to finally see you again, my son."

[Rean doesn't know it, but that same darkness in Crow's expression washes over his own.]

[ His hand had halted just before actually touching Rean's shoulder as soon as those words escaped him, and the surprise was anything but subtle. Crow couldn't have masked it even if he tried as he just let his hand fall, and those words sunk in, with that troubled expression of Rean's. ]

You're...

.....

[ ...he just lets the words trail off, the shock still gripping him like a vice. He almost laughed but thank Aidios he didn't.

So, that must've been the real reason why Rean had thought he wouldn't speak to him. Well, Crow would have liked to have said that those worries were unfounded. But, considering the circumstances, knowing now that Rean is the biological son of the man he wanted to kill, and that he's going to end up following in his footsteps it looks like ... ]

[ ... Crow just lets out a tired sigh instead and raises that hand, this time letting it rest on Rean's shoulder if the other allows him to. Despite what he's just heard, Rean is Rean, and the fact that he's Osborne's son wouldn't change that. Even if it doesn't make things less complicated, and he's having a hard time still sorting out his feelings. ]

It kind of feels like that bastard just knew that this was how things were going to go all along. I still can't believe it - I mean, you sure didn't get the looks from him, that's for sure.

[Rean certainly doesn't make any moves to stop him. If anything, when his head snaps up, his eyes are widened with surprise.]

Crow...

[His name tumbles out numbly as he just looks between Crow's hand and his eyes, like he's trying to make sense of what's going on.]

I can't say that's not exactly how I feel, too, but... Crow.

I'm... I'm everything you hate, now. [And once again that trembling edges its way back into his voice, unwittingly. The look in his own eyes is almost pleading, like he almost wants some sort of justification from Crow for his own feelings.] Aren't I? So why are you...

What, are you telling me to hate you just like that? Do you really think I'm that simple of a guy?

[ He actually does...kind of laugh. It's not like he isn't taking this seriously, but this was all getting to be so ridiculous. What was next, Osborne was actually some sort of hidden member of the royal family?

But in the end, Crow feels like some things have been turned on its head. Even if it'd never stop him from taking the actions he will tomorrow.

Honestly, he could pretend to hate Rean. That could make it easier, but he can't say it's something he'd like doing. Just imagining the heartbreak in those purple eyes of his as his fears are confirmed is bad enough. If he's being honest, though...he can say he at least hates that.

That there really isn't just "C" anymore. It's a slap in the face that the identity "Crow Armbrust of Class VII" might not just be a play. Either way, this is something he needs to think over. ]

Don't get me wrong, it's a nasty surprise, and I'm not exactly excited to hear you actually be related to that guy. But, condemning you just for existing as being born as the son to him seems a bit much. Now, if I know that you plan on doing nothing and letting him make you dance on his strings forever, that's another story entirely.

Edited 2019-07-01 04:18 (UTC)

I... no. [He does dip his head a little in shame, a bit like a scolded dog. But...] ...It'd be easier, though.

[For Crow? For himself? He doesn't specify. He just lets his brows furrow, gaze boring through the table between them as Crow continues.

He can't help but feel a little hollow. At least if Crow hated him, it'd be something different. Painful, to be sure, but still an emotion to latch onto that isn't just the rhythmic drumbeats of grief keeping time with the beats of his heart. As it stands, here he is, baring his truth and staring down the reality that even now, he can't change anything.

He can't save Crow. He can't help him out of this darkness if that's where Crow wants to be. And the ache that leaves behind seems to echo in the emptiness in his chest.]

...I don't know what I'm planning. [He sighs a little, but at least lifts his gaze to meet Crow's.] I don't want this. But the others have moved on. It's just me, one second-year student at Thors, against everything he has. Even with Valimar on my side... regardless of what you think of me, I'm not so stupid that I don't know a battle I can't win when I see one. I'd just be putting innocent people at risk for nothing, and I can't do that.

At least with what I'm doing now, I can try to make things peaceful. Try to protect some of the citizens rather than let the Army have their way. I still hate it, but it's something.

Right now, I'm just trying to cling to that. Make it through this last year at Thors, and then... who knows. Maybe by then, I'll have figured out how to pull something off.

[That might not have been the answer Crow expected from Rean. Rean's always been so full of hope that to hear him sounding more resigned now might be alarming, even, but... at least he's not just lying down entirely.

It's honest, if nothing else.]

Maybe.

[ But whatever the case, Crow isn't having any of it.

His expression tightens as he listens to Rean talk like the way he is. It's not something he's used to hearing, but...some part of it is undeniably familiar--ultimately sounding like himself in the sense that even in his defeat he was self-sacricing.

He'll reach out with his other hand so that both of his hands on his shoulders. ]

Hey, get a hold of yourself, man! Do you really think that you're supposed to just go it alone and hope it'll just magically work out?!

Do you think your - our - friends would like to sit doing nothing because you think they can't handle themselves? I know you want to protect them, but they're capable too and they can help. I know it's tough and I don't even know where they went, but I'd think trying to keep things from getting worse would be top priority.

[ His grip loosens as he releases a sigh. ]

...And it'll sure be a hell of a lot easier figuring something else out if you had them with you.

Edited (i wrote thiis mobile rip) 2019-07-01 22:08 (UTC)

[It's all Rean can do, at first, to just stare bewildered at Crow. What else can one do, when they're getting a come-to-Aidios talk about the wonders of what friends can do together from... well, frankly, the person Rean's needed to hear it from most, but also, the same person who's going to turn his back on all of "their" friends the next day?

There's just something horribly bizarre about the whole situation.

Eventually, though, his expression cracks into a somewhat sad smile.]

...heh. It's funny hearing you tell me all this. I don't disagree, but... hey. Not to spoil you for tomorrow or anything, but in my time, you made a whole scene about how everything was fake and we never mattered to you. If I'm even allowed to give suggestions at this point... you'd probably do well to skip over all that. It doesn't work, anyway.

[With a soft sigh, he brings one hand up to rest atop one of Crow's on his shoulder. To keep it there, and to further remind himself that at least for now, Crow is here. He's real, he's alive, and Rean can feel the body heat radiating from those calloused hands.]

But that's beside the point. That isn't what I'm saying. I know they can handle themselves, and I know they'd help.

After the war, most of them had their own goals they wanted to chase down. Elliot got accepted at the Music Academy, Machias to that political academy in Heimdallr. Some of them just had family matters to start taking care of, or for Millium, a job to get back to. Every last one of them offered to stay on the full second year with me.

How could I possibly hold them back for my sake, when the opportunities they've always wanted were right in front of their noses?

They all fast-tracked their second years. Me, too, once I got back from Crossbell, so I've got a leg up now that we're taking things at a normal pace. Helps, when I have to miss class. But they've all graduated now. Moved on, like I said.

And that's what I want for them. But we have a standing promise to meet again. And if the straits are still so dire when that time comes, I know I can rely on them.

[Well, that's a little better, at least, although perhaps it's still too long for Crow's liking...]

...Well, that sure doesn't make this awkward or anything.

[ It was startlingly clear to him that they both lived in two different worlds. Rean, who lived in a world where he can still be powered by the strength of his friends, whereas he, well...

Another short laugh escapes him and he just shakes his head.

In contrast, he's now thinking that he's the last person Rean needed to hear it from. He wouldn't say, but Rean's answer was a bit more reassuring than the one earlier. ]

I'm pretty sure if you asked them, they'd definitely say you weren't holding them back. Guess I have no right to really stick my nose into this sort of thing anymore, though, and it isn't like I was saying all of that from the good of my heart or anything like that. Still the one with the agenda to make sure that guy's dead...which is exactly why I've done what I did, and why I don't really have any intention of skipping right past it.

Been a pretty good actor and all that, after all.

[ He pulls away, allowing his hands to drop at his sides at that. ]

This was going to be awkward no matter what, wasn't it—?

[But then Crow's pulling away, and for a moment, an obvious hurt flashes across Rean's features.]

[But that moment passes quickly, before Rean's eyes glint with a familiar burning passion, the one Crow knows him to have back at the academy.

No... even stronger than that. Rean may be damaged in a lot of ways, but he's not broken. He may not have come out on the other side of hell singing, precisely, but he'll be damned if he's silenced now.

What Rean hasn't mentioned is that he's no longer the desperate underclassman playing catch-up. Now, they're on equal grounds, and he's going to make sure Crow knows it.]

Crow.

[Rean reaches out to try to grab one of his hands out of the air, if he can, before Crow can drop it back to his side.]

If you won't make this easy on me, then I'm not going to let you try to make this easy on yourself. You can't just run away from me now. I won't let you.

I'm going to say it tomorrow, and I'll tell you as much right here: "Crow Armbrust isn't real?" Like. Hell. He is real, and he's sitting right in front of me. Every word you just said, you meant, and you can't seriously think I'm stupid enough to fall for that lie now.

You're C. I know that. I've come to accept it. But you're also one of us.

[His voice is low, serious with a determination he can never find for himself, but always seems to have in him for the people he cares about.]

Go ahead and lie to the me of your time, if it's what gets you through the day. But don't you dare lie to me right here.

[ Crow thought that "running away" would be for the good of them both. He's no good for Rean, and he realized - or believed - that there wasn't a place for him anymore beside hi - beside Class VII anymore. In addition, he's not exactly searching for a gravepost (yet), but he knows he can't avoid it, and so...it'd hurt less when he put that distance between the both of them.

There were other reasons too, but he was desperately trying to squash those feelings that reared their ugly head. Just like how they did when Vita said those things during that "game" and he'd been so floored that the only thing he could think of doing was playing it off...or sitting there in stunned silence like an idiot.

But, he should've known Rean wouldn't give up on him, even if he figured that maybe he'd accept there was nothing he could do. Instead, he looked kind of surprised when his hand was just...caught in Rean's own. At hearing those words, he feel something twist in his stomach, in his chest - he should know what it is. Guilt, though he'd argue it was for all the wrong reasons. ]

Rean, you...

[ Crow can feel his walls coming down, and he feels strangely vulnerable. It's not a good feeling, though he doubts anyone but Rean could manage to do this to him.

He looks back down to the hand grabbing a hold of his, and he can feel the warmth. It makes him think of just how warm and caring he is, once again bringing up feelings that feel uncomfortable. He can practically feel a heaviness in his throat.

He knows he doesn't deserve this.

Not because of some misplaced self-hatred does he think this, but it's because he knows damn well he just doesn't, and he closes his eyes. ]

...you really don't know when to give up, do you? You're really such a weird guy...I'm sure anyone else would have just told me rightfully to get lost long before now.

[With Crow's hand caught in his, Rean reaches out his other hand to cup around Crow's as well. It's something Elliot's done to him before, but it feels right to be the one doing it now.]

Heh. When it comes to you? Not in the slightest.

[And that admission comes a bit guiltily as well. It's not as if he isn't well aware that creating distance would make things easier for both of them. But, well... it's as he said. If Crow's going to reject Rean's attempt to do so, he doesn't get to try again but on his own terms.]

I already told you, didn't I? Maybe everything between us just started as a cover story... but you and I both know it didn't stay that way.

You never had to look after me or keep offering me advice. You never had to let me hang out in your room or come over to mine and stay until Machias came knocking at our door to tell us to shut up and go to bed already.

You didn't have to help me with the magic knight below the schoolhouse. You had to have seen something like that yourself, three years ago... it probably would have been easier on you to just let me fail the trial, wouldn't it? And there's no way you can spin everything you did for our concert as just "laying low."

[Rean can feel Crow's discomfort, but at the same time, he knows he's getting through. He's done this before, and he'll do it again. Again, and again, as many times as he has to to convince Crow that these feelings are real, and that he's not alone.]

What I'm trying to say is... I can't give up on you. You're...

[His voice cracks as he continues.]

You're my best friend, Crow. No matter what. I miss you, I need you, and I can't...

I can't give up. I can't move forward. You matter too much.

...!

[ That sure was a noise of surprise from him, and his mind just flat out blanks as he stares at Rean with wide eyes. But he can't even look away, even if part of him feels like he wants to (but does he really?) Ultimately, he feels like nothing he could say would be able to counter that. And...

He's starting to think that might not be so bad. It doesn't exactly erase the guilt that's still there, but Crow isn't so eager to push Rean away anymore. Somewhere, deep down inside, he's known he never really wanted to, and that he'd been even lying to himself that he did in the first place. In the end, he really had himself to blame for this...and practically everything, really. ]

[ Finally, those red eyes of his soften as he looks straight into Rean's, and his fingers lightly curl around the hand that's grasped his - and honestly this is making him feel more warm than it had any right to be. Some part of him feels that he still doesn't deserve this, that Rean is too good for him, but... ]

Wonder what it says about me that I can't say that I feel like trying to convince you otherwise anymore. Maybe I just realize it's no use, and that at this point it'd be easier bringing you to little ol' Crow's terrible dark side than getting you to give up.

[ Technically, that didn't work out too well either, but hey, he doesn't know that.

There's a smile on his face, and though it's slight, it's without any traces of bitterness or something sardonic. As he's speaking, his hand gives Rean's a squeeze. ]

Haha, anyway...you definitely got me beat. It's strange, though. I never thought there'd be anyone who'd say that to me, of all people. But, despite everything, I can't say it feels bad at all.

[Rean instinctively feels himself relax when Crow's fingers curl back around his, when those eyes acknowledge him gently.

Even if it's painful, talking across the divide of time like this, Crow's warm gaze has been burned into his mind since his December. At least like this, he can see it again in person, without the wrenching pain of the context of when he last saw it.]

...Maybe it doesn't have to be that black or white, Crow? [His voice is gentle, still shaking slightly.] I can't convince you not to do what you will tomorrow, and you can't convince me that your methods are okay. But... maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle?

[His hands squeeze back, as his own lips form a slight smile.]

Yeah, well. I guess I make a habit of defying expectations.

[A pause, a long draw of breath.]

...I don't know everything, I'm sure, but I know you've been angry and alone for six years, now. And maybe there's nothing I can do to erase that anger. But... you don't have to be alone, at least.

You have me... you have us. You'll always be one of us.

Edited 2019-07-02 16:33 (UTC)

[ At least it didn't take him dying this time to get to this point...

And he's listening to Rean speak so sincerely. He wonders idly what things would be like if he'd met the other sooner, and his imagination wanders much farther than he'd like it to have. ]

Somewhere in the middle, huh? You know, if it were anyone else, I don't think I'd seriously consider it. Probably would say something like 'what middle road, I don't see any middle road, must be something from your imagination'.

[ His words carried a half-serious, half-joking tone to them, but honestly, where was the lie? Crow could easily see himself continuing on rebuffing the words if they were said by someone else. But, with Rean, with those purple eyes of his, along with the pure sincerity in his being, and that soft, yet ~~adorable~~ determined expression...it was impossible in the end. ]

...You really know how to make a guy feel loved, don't you?

[Thank the Goddess for small miracles.]

Heh, well... guess my cheesy speeches are working out for me for once, huh?

[And more seriously:] I can't change what you're going to to do tomorrow... but I don't know. Maybe there is some middle road. Maybe I can at least get you to consider changing what you do after, at least a little.

I'm sure you know... but Cayenne and the others are only ever going to see you as a tool. Use you as a tool. In the end, the Duke isn't going to listen to you or Vita, and his arrogance will be your end.

It won't help me, but maybe... maybe we can at least change things for the better in your timeline. For you, and for your version of me.

[And there he is again, condemning himself as hopeless. But even so, that last little bit from Crow earns a little smile from Rean.]

All I'm doing is telling you the truth. You are loved.

Yeah. Took awhile to get there, though.

[ ... ]

Might be a little ahead of you there. I was thinking about already changing what happened after the 'assassination'. But what I'm getting so far is that maybe I should do everyone a favor and stuff the guy in a closet and lock it right before the real finale goes down.

[ "You are loved", huh? He really just...walked right into that, didn't he?

There's a small pause and he uses his free hand to lightly ruffle Rean's hair if he's given the chance. ]

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to make me blush.

...And hey, I know it won't change things for you in your timeline, but I've got faith that things will work out for you too. In the meanwhile, we can continue to enjoy what we have, and all that for as long as we can. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to suddenly stop showing up one day just because I decided to do things differently.

Haha. Growing pains, right? I made it there in the end. That's what matters.

[And that second admission earns a bit of a tight-lipped smile. Crow... Crow. How are you so smart and so stupid, all at once?]

...I mean, I might suggest thinking through that plan a little more thoroughly. But... it's a start? You can get half a star, for trying. ...Maybe a quarter-star.

[Of course he's not going to stop the hair ruffling! Although, he is finding himself blushing at it. He can't help it. He's only ever on the receiving end of this from Crow...]

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying any of this as some kind of "final goodbye" or anything. I intend to make the most of whatever extra time Aidios is giving me, here.

[He squeezes that hand a little tighter.]

I know I keep saying it, but... I really have missed you. During the war, and now especially. It's... almost funny, in an awful way. You're the one that gets stabbed, but I'm the one left with the hole in my heart once it's all said and done.

[ That one braincell, man. That one braincell. ]

Hey now, I wasn't entirely serious about that, give me some credit. But also don't tell me you wouldn't pay some good mira to see it happen.

[ Rean is also literally the only person he does this to...and he enjoys making the other blush as a bonus. Dear Aidios, he's got it bad. ]

Heh, good. [ Opening his mouth and then just closing it. ] Life's full of surprises, isn't it? Guess someone decided you needed a break from all of the heartbreak. Though seeing as I'm the one who basically caused most of it in the first place...well, I'll just leave it at that.

Edited 2019-07-03 18:08 (UTC)

[That one braincell...]

Listen, it's you. If there's anything I've learned, it's to just give up with having expectations one way or another with you.

...Still, I won't deny you're right.

[He can be petty, too!

He just sighs a little at Crow's last statement.]

Maybe so. But you're at the center of some of my happiest memories, too. Any pain is worth it, to me.

[ Honestly...some of the things he says. It just reminds him of how much of a good person Rean honestly is. And yet, here he is, wasting his time on someone like him. It...doesn't make him any less happy though. ]

You're such a sap, you know that?

[ But he's smiling anyway. And hey, the place probably thinks it's time, because he's going to start vanishing. ]

...Looks like time's up. Guess I'll be seeing you around - just try to keep it together until we meet again, alright?

Ah—

[It's clear from the expression that crosses Rean's fact that he's not ready for Crow to go yet, but...

Ah, he's losing his grip on this place, too. It's strange, feeling himself becoming incorporeal. Well, there's nothing to be done, either way.

Taking a deep breath, he tries to put on his best smile for Crow.]

...Yeah. I'll do my best.

See you around... and take care.

[And as he finishes that final thought, he's whisked away.]

empty chairs at empty tables

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1/2

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1/??? I don't usually do this so sorry about your inbox

2/ Are you feelin' that suspense in the air

3/3

lmao it's okay! i love shit like this

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"is this the friendzone or a love confession, even i'm not sure," a novel by rean schwarzer

1/2

2/2 sounds like somehow it became "why not both" even if that should be impossible, probably

these two defy common sense with their stupidity

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this is probably a good place to end it

ye agreed